Melbourne’s New French Quarter: Fitzroy / Collingwood

La Niche Cafe / Boire / Monsieur Truffle / Breizioz Creperie / De Clieu / Simon Johnson

Oh la la! Encroyable, zut allors! Blue Vapour’s neighbourhood is quickly becoming the French Quarter of Melbourne. Not that I mind, since I’m a francophile.

Some might argue it’s Carlton - with the Filou Patissserie on Lygon St, various cheese shops and the Theatre Francaise on Canning St – but I’m talking about a groundswell from Smith to Brunswick St, between Victoria and Johnston Sts, that’s fightening in its tectonic proportions.

Don’t believe me (about the French Quarter in Fitzroy / Collingwood… not me being a francophile)? Let’s look at the facts:



La Niche Café
67 Smith St
Collingwood
Ph: (03) 9418 3439
7 tentacles out of 8

One of my favourite places and for me top of the list not so much for the food but the friendliness. It’s an extremely casual place to eat, have a coffee or sit in the courtyard and drink a glass of wine while reading the papers.

The owner is Antonie Sargeant (hope I spelt that right), un homme from Brittany who moved to Australia and opened this little gem around five years ago… about the same time we moved in to BV HQ. Women flock from miles around to watch him pour coffee as he’s been likened to the thinking girl’s Gabriel Gate.

He’s ably assisted by Nora – a Parisian beauty who, let’s face it, has kept the tills turning by hapless older men who want tot talk to her if only briefly enough to order un tasse de café. They’ve had various qualified chefs in the back, all excellent, whipping up quiche lorraine, crepes , prosciutto and goat cheese salads, baguettes, croissants that are the real deal, etc. And they have a substantive bar with great local wines.

Last but not least, La Niche has bands on Fridays (Jane and I have played there twice), art openings and special menu nights with coq au vin and the like. Plus, the building is owned and houses the offices of comedian John Clarke, one of my heroes. You should go! (I have to mention them first as part of my loyalty program.)


Boire
92 Smith St
Collingwood
No phone
http://www.boire.com.au/
7.5 tentacles out of 8

Age Good Food Guide listed, and pretty fantastic, be prepared to reach into your wallet as the wine list is exclusively French. Don’t want to give the game away too much as I’m thoroughly reviewing this one for you next week** as I went there for a night with Stephane Reynaud (Parisian chef)… but more next week.

**My Dad said he read my last blog (“Hi Dr!”), but that it was bit long and he forgot what I was writing about by the end. Not sure if it’s me or my Dad, so will make the rest of this blog brief… ish!


Monsieur Truffle
90 Smith St
Collingwood
“Fins” chocolate and coffee. Or something. Never been there, but proportedly the very best drinking chocolate in Melbourne and a patisserie.


Breizioz Creperie
Corner Gertrude St and Brunswick
Fitzroy
(03) 9415 7588
http://www.breizoz.com.au
Near the corner of Gertrude and Brunswick Sts. Ditto Breizioz on my attendance, but definitely reinforcing of my argument.


De Clieu
Cnr Gertrude and George Sts
Fitzroy
Is this even French? Something to do Frenchman Gabriel de Clieu who took coffee seeds from the French botanical gardens and took them to the French colonies (search me I Googled this from; http://myachinghead.net/2010/10/de-clieu-gertrude-st).

It just opened this week in the former real estate agent KP Smyth on the corner of Gertrude St and George Sts. It’s the same group that did the Seven Seeds coffee place in town and people are mooching out the front looking cool already. Open two days and there are people hanging from the rafters! Phew! My comedian landlord Tim Scally (“Hi Tim!”) suspects they have A-list tabs going on to create a vibe, so perhaps you should rush down and celebrity spot out the front with a bottle of water and a cut lunch (they use Fatto A Mano bread – too hard – and charge $10 a sandwich).

Simon Johnson
Shop
12 St David Street
Fitzroy VIC 3065
(03) 9486 9456
http://www.simonjohnson.com.au

The internet calls this place a “purveyor of fine food”, so you know it’s a wank. If I say the words “Pru and Trude” you’ll get the picture; hessian bags on the ceiling, boxes of biscuits called mother in law tongues for over $20 and middle class staff (am I allowed to say upper class – do we have that en Australie?) wearing black aprons. But… oh, yes, there’s a but…

They have a “fromagerie”, basically a walk in cheese fridge, that would make your eyes pop out of your head. French cheeses galore, including the stinky one in the wooden box. I’m told they have cheese tastings for most of the day Saturday and Sunday, and that they don’t mind you taking a bottle of wine along. An idea for a bored Sunday early afternoon perhaps.


Anyway, more next week. Get ready for a review on pork, blackboards and wine, wine, wine…

Au bientot!

Christophe (c’est moi!) ///

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Middle Park Hotel

102 Canterbury Rd
Middle Park VIC 3206
ph: 9690 1958



Hello mes amis! I know it’s been a long time since I’ve parlayed at ya, but I’ve been overwhelmed by the tedium of work and sorting through piles of filing and receipts.

“Don’t tell us about your humdrum existence, Christophe!” I hear you thinking. “What I want is some great food tips on eateries and other cake hole inspired topics.

Well you can relax. This is the first in a couple of entries, because now I’ve cleared a space on my desk I can now focus on everybody’s favourite topic: tuck!

OK; so recently I was puzzling over where (oh where???) could we book the staff from Blue Vapours (great guys, check them out) to go out for their annual corporate planning day lunch? To date we’d done Pearl, Ezard (basement of the Adelphi), and Madame Sousous (Brunswick St). How could we top them?

The gauntlet was thoroughly thrown down, and all eyes turned to moiself, the food guru. Could he do it again? And how much was he prepared to spend?

I tried hard and did my research, but seemingly to little avail. The winner of the Age Good Food Guide best restaurant 2010, the chef of the year award 2011 (Ben Shewry), and only Melbourne restaurant to get in the San Pelligrino international food guide (who even knew they had one? I wonder what Bislerri thinks?) – Attica – didn’t take bookings for lunch.

And call me crazy, but I kind of baulk at the very idea of Vue de Monde with it’s exorbitant price tag. Can it really be justified? Rockpool? Maze? But do I want to hang out at Crown, or make that wrinkle headed prune Gordon Ramsay any richer?

I started trawling guides and haunting the back streets of the CBD, the date drawing ever closer and my alarm bells ringing. Where would I book? Two and three hat restaurants looked like they were offering sculptural artworks in church where you pay a premium to be intimidated, steak houses just looked too awful. And then I found it. The Middle Park Hotel.

At this point in my review I have to declare my hand. My cousin Chris McKenzie (known as CJ to staff) is/was (?) the bar manager there. I was blowing the top off a couple of frothies with him, pretending to be Billy Brownless, when he said -
“Don’t go to any of those fancy pants places. Come here! We’ve got a top chef and I swear we’re about to get a hat. It’s really good.”

Well we did, and it was.

The first thing you need to know about the menu is that it’s all about the meat. And old world meat at that. The menu is littered with items like scotch eggs, ham hocks, black pudding and duck liver parfait (OK, vegetarians are now doing 360’s in their graves, but I’m salivating). Patrons? They were predominantly flush faced men over sixty with a predilection for fine meats and red wine. It was like hitting the jack-pot of a Chinese restaurant in Melbourne filled with Chinese diners. We’d clearly landed at a gastro-pub Mecca; heart attack ground zero.

Steaks? Oh yeah, you know it. I had the top of the line and have to say I probably would have been happier down a rung or two; it was a super aged hung steak with marrow and parsley. A bit too old world for my chops; I’m not a huge marrow man – though I did have flashes in my mind of M eating a marrow bone at his club with a long silver spoon. Still, delicious, and everyone was nodding their heads around the table.

Oysters? Four types – but don’t bother shopping around, take it from the horse’s mouth: the Tasmanian were plumpest, cleanest of palate and nicest of colour.

Wine? The restaurant had a French sommelier (wine waiter) and an impressive wine list; pages and pages. Thank heavens we were able to take direction.

Now I haven’t been paid a cracker for this review, but it really was worth a look; up there with the Station Hotel in Footscray. I give it seven tentacles out of eight.

If you go, say hi to CJ for me!! To find out more, visit:

www.middleparkhotel.com.au

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