Buongiorno, bonjour and “g’day”! (don't you like how they're all the same thing? ~ who knew Australian vernacular was so cosmopolitan???).

Also, "a good day to you, sir/maam" for our American pals, "Ni Hao" to China, and "Здравствуй" to our Russian comrades, "etcetera etcetera and so forth"... (for Yul Brynner).

It’s your old pal Kit (Christof) Fennessy here. I've been writing this blog with your help for ten years, and there's over a hundred and fifty recipes, restaurant reviews of Australia and around the world, and general gourmet articles in these pages for you to fritter away your idle hours on.

Want to know more about me? Friend me on facebook, follow me on twitter, or even look up my New Yorker cartoons on instagram! NB; different platforms not all food related)

A big thank you, as always, to my sponsors at Blue Vapours (use them for all your design and advertising needs - we are waiting for your call!).

Now, what's on the bill of fare today?

Monday, April 30, 2012

The Perfect Schnitzel and Coleslaw

Oh the shame. And oh the tastiness!

I have a confession to make. I'm a sensate person, and in the pursuit of yet another food high I'm fully prepared to trawl the gutters, driving along with my Mercedes Benz Mouth picking up cheap floozies like hamburgers or fish and chips for a thrill. And worse. I'm surprised I haven't caught a case of crabs yet (a bit out of my price range I'm afraid).

On the weekend I was channel surfing and found myself watching Better Homes and Gardens.

I know what you're thinking, and don't think I'm not ashamed of myself for even writing that last sentence.

You know Karen Martini, who makes tasty food with that extra special ingredient - FAT? Well, she was on: cooking schnitzels with coleslaw. The presentation was pretty good, and the whole thing so simple, I thought I'd give it a go.

WARNING: this dish is so delicious, you may be forced to keep eating and end up as a big fat fatty.

Schnitzel Top Tips:

Crumbs: The secret is in the crumbs. Zoong up fresh bread crumbs; I mixed a cup or two of mine with some polenta, a couple of table spoons of parmesan, salt and pepper and dried herbs (I used dill because it was handy). This recipe works for pork, veal or chicken schnitz. I chose veal.

Coating the schnitzel: Flour, egg, crumbs, rest for ten minutes. Let as much egg come back off the schnitz as you can, it's a mucky job and good to use tongs. Once coated, let the schnitz rest in the fridge while you make the coleslaw.

Hot oil: Ah ha! The conundrum with olive oil is that it tastes delicious but burns at a lower temperature than other oils. Use a medium sized fry pan and heat the pan without anything in it. When the pan is hot, add about a centimetre of olive oil - you want it to be just below the top of the schnitz when it's in the pan. Let the oil heat up - cold oil equals soggy crumbs. You'll need to fiddle with the temp while you cook - too hot burns the oil, too low makes it soggy. Go for a brisk bubbling at the edges. It'll take about three minutes a side, drain on paper. The first one is a bit like a pancake, the sacrificial schnitzel (beware, burnt chop syndrome sufferers!).

Coleslaw Top Tips:

My gosh this was good.

Dressing: forget the mayonnaise. Use a small container of sour cream, and add to it a couple of table spoons of parmesan cheese, a shot of virgin olive oil, a shot of white wine vinegar, salt and pepper.

Ingredients: I had to make Jane a traditional carrot, spring onion and cabbage dish, since she doesn't like the one suggested, but it was excellent.

* Two red apples: grate them, leave the skin on as it gives a nice colour. Put a squeeze of lemon juice over the apple to stop it oxidising straight away.
* Shredded cabbage: a quarter of a young cabbage finely grated.
* Broad leaf parsley: a few leaves chopped for colour. Let the slaw rest for ten minutes before serving to let the flavours go through - while you're cooking the schnitzels.

Feed a family of six for for under twelve bucks, or just sit down and eat the lot yourself in two sittings. My doctor is spinning in his grave, but honestly, once in a while it's OK to slum it. I give this recipe eight tentacles out of eight, a first!

Want to see the original? Visit Better Homes and Gardens here. Oh the shame!!!